It’s The Post About Nothing That Makes It Really Something

Unknown Cystic just wrote me a rather chastising comment bringing my attention to the fact that I had only written 3 posts this year.

Of course I made an un-spellable sound, something like pffftttttsshhh, and tossed my head as though the mere thought was absurd.

Then I logged onto my blog and began scrolling. Which, if you’re a regular reader here, you’ll know means that I didn’t even get one full swish on the Macbook mousepad in before I came to the end of my posts for 2012.

Because there were only 3 posts!!

I knew I had been neglectful of course, in fact I previously dedicated a whole post to my neglect, but I didn’t realize that I was four days from the 5th month of the year and only had three posts to show for it – meaning that I couldn’t even claim a post a month!

(A dismal failure in anyone’s world, but one that I was prepared to tell myself was acceptable.)

He told me to ‘just write about what’s happening in life’. So here I am, with nothing of value to say, but posting nonetheless.

I’ve been working on an article on Organic Chicken Farming for days. Days! It should have taken me about 2 hours at most. I cannot seem to make it come together. I have never farmed a chicken (organic or otherwise) so I know nothing about it. Of course this requires me to research it in-depth, and then write about it as if I know what I’m talking about. What fun! I hear you say.

My husband calls it the BS factor and says I have it. It’s one of the nicest compliments he’s given me this year. I’ll leave it to your imagination to decipher what the “BS” stands for.

So I’ve been toiling over this article – so much so that once its done my hourly rate will end up being less than I’d make working the drive-thru at McDonalds – I’m sure of it. But at least I’ll know all about how to farm chickens. One must always remember, the rewards are so much greater than what shows up in the bank account.

My sister interrupted my afternoon of floundering through figurative chickens and their coops, by sending me a copy of her resume and asking me to check for errors like spelling, grammar and these things: ; ‘ ” , . :. (that would be punctuation).

I started reading and her resume went something like this:

Degrees:

Administration

Business

Agriculture

Environmental Planning

Marketing

Law

Running the Country

Experience:

Administration

Corralling Bosses

Sorting Out Industrial Disputes

Solving Environmental Issues

Calming Down Psychotic Staff

Working with Big-Time Lawyers

Pacifying Angry Executives

Pretty Much Running The Country

The thing went on for about 15 pages and used intricate phrases I couldn’t even comprehend like, “….external stakeholders to ensure the organization meets its natural resource management outcomes…”

What the hell does that mean? What’s natural resource management and how does one measure the outcome?

All in all I ended up quite dizzy from the vast majority of complex information on the pages, and had to lie down for a spell. I rallied though and got myself through it, offering key support on the refinement of such an important document.

I contributed things like ‘this would look better with a comma’ and ‘there was a period missing there’ and my favorite, ‘if you switch these two words around, it will look much better.’

Vital stuff.

We all know when she applies for a job and gets it, who she’ll have to thank, don’t we? In typical family member fashion, I’m sure she wont be greasing my palms with my percentage of the salary increase though.

Just for kicks after I sent off my corrections, I pulled out my resume to review the past 20 years of my life. It went something like this:

Degrees:

None that count

Experience:

Rep for an (evil) Multi-National Pharmaceutical Company

Repped for an even more evil Big-Pharma Company

(got a company car and a business card and thought I’d hit the big time)

Moved to Ireland to drink beers with Will and Pamela at the Crown Bar

Moved to England (Cambridge) to drink beers with Wingnut at The Eagle Pub

Moved elsewhere in England (Near Oxford) to drink Tequila shots with Lucy and look after her children (a brilliant merge)

Moved to Denver, Colorado to elope with my (now) Husband

(seemed like a good idea at the time)

Started a business

Got pregnant and deathly ill and closed the business

Had a kid

Started another business

Sold it 2 years later for a very nice profit

(this was the pinnacle of my career, it’s all downhill from here)

Moved to Texas

Started to become green, Texas version of a hippie

Spent 2 years learning that Y’all means You all, and not some guy called “Yoll.”  (Y’all coming to dinner… Y’all welcome to use the pool, Y’all going on vacation. For a long time I thought I had just never met “Yoll.” but knew he was sitting pretty when it came to the invitation department. Seemed everyone, everywhere wanted him around!)

Started Writing with some Focus

Moved to Australia

Decided it was a great idea to study 4 degrees at once

Current Day:

Realized my sister is 8 years younger than me and has achieved more than I will in the next 40 years!

As you can see, if its good times and fascinating stories you’re after, I’m your girl. But if it’s an educated woman with a brain, my sister might be a little more up your alley.

Still, we can’t all be smart, who would all the men marry?  Who would fulfill the black sheep roles?

Every role is important, lets face it, we all really value that our trash collector comes every Wednesday. He is a vital part of our world, he is not unimportant!

I’ll leave you with that deep thought.

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32 thoughts on “It’s The Post About Nothing That Makes It Really Something

  1. Stonehead says:

    Borrow a few of my posts. I have more than enough to spare you some. :D

    Like

  2. Since your last post about not posting.. I still haven’t posted. That was.. *January*. I keep thinking about posting, but I just either don’t know what to say, or have too much to say about nothing. Either way, I enjoy reading whenever you have the chance to post.

    Like

  3. Your ‘nothing of value to say’ was fun to read and kept my attention right to the end. THanks.

    Like

  4. Teresa Silverthorn says:

    Delightful, as usual. ;)

    Like

  5. Dor says:

    Your post about nothing had my full attention right down to the “deep thought” ending. It’s funny, sometimes sad, mostly funny, self deprecating. Please keep writing about nothing. Your posts are addictive.

    Like

  6. Anyone who was a rep with big Pharm deserves a few beers. Glad ya’ll wandered down here. (You did learn that “feeder” isn’t a street name – it’s the side roads along side the Freeway that feeds traffic onto the big road? Some go crazy trying to find a street with that name…)
    Voting for one with the good times and stories!

    Like

    • Feeder had me confused for a long time. A rather long and arduous ‘lesson’ from a few friends in a pub after a long night of drinking soon had me sorted though, and I got it all sorted out ;) Will definitely move onto some of the stories soon, there are some crackers! ;)

      Like

  7. JWo says:

    I’m actually working on a post about you… well, kinda. It’s more about who I “thought” was you. hahaha…

    Like

  8. Katriina says:

    tell more about the “deathly ill” thing… really?? that sounds horrible!
    Btw, you really must update your CV to add “kickarse writer” :)

    Like

  9. [...] from An Observant Mind, hasn’t been posting to her blog as much in 2012, releasing only her fourth post of the year on the [...]

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  10. mark says:

    Corralling bosses sounds like a valuable skill. Glad you’re back!

    Like

  11. There now, that wasn’t so hard was it? And it turned out to be an excellent post. Interesting dynamic between you and your sister. I guess it depends on one’s definition of success in life. Now I’ve always dreamed of starting a business of my own, but never had what it takes to do it. And look at your resume, there it is twice. That’s success to me. Anyone who can start two businesses and sell one for a nice profit . . . well, nice job.

    So nice to have you blogging more often. The world seems much better for it and more peaceful.

    Like

    • My head is huge now UC. The world being a better place for my posts? Well! Someone better alert the Dali Lama, we have the answer! ;) Thanks for the figurative kick up the pants…. apparently I needed it!

      Like

  12. J says:

    Hey Y`all…as your mutha I`ve got to say you have given me a great afternoon of laughs , trying to make it through my dismal Friday!..THANK YOU:) xx

    Like

  13. Arindam says:

    Your post about nothing was fun to read. Your resume to review the past 20 years of your life was excellent. Not to forget, I like it a lot the way you ended this post. Yes, no one in this planet is unimportant. Great post.

    Like

  14. Yoll is my neighbor!

    Like

  15. HALLELUIA! She’s alive! She’s alive!!

    SO glad I’m not the only one that gives you grief for your long absenses!!

    And your resume’?!? What a riot! That is priceless…and it includes beer and tequila! That is totally MY kind of resume’!!

    Seriously though…I get all excited when my Google Reader shows you’ve got a new post. I love that.

    Like

  16. Elyse says:

    Resume words of wisdom: Nobody reads more than the first page.

    You rock and I think you have several hundred folks who don’t know you who will tell that to anyone who asks!

    Like

  17. Anonymous says:

    You didn’t mention that the plural of y’all is “all y’all”.
    Love the post!

    Like

  18. Kenia says:

    Justus Ndiritu Posted on I am a Kenyan graduate in BSc. Physics and Mathematics and have been waitnig for such an opportunity since I am financially incapacitated and cannot afford my master degree. Is it possible for me to apply for this particular scholarship? Kindly reply.warmest regardsJustus

    Like

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