The Lies We Tell

Butter Wouldn't Melt in his Mouth!

Butter Wouldn’t Melt in his Mouth!

The lies I told today when making a booking with the ‘pet friendly’ hotel today:

Them: “Is your dog a small dog?”

Me: “Well, you know he’s not teeny small, but he is a small-ish Labrador.”

(Lie #1. He weighs 40 kilos and he can easily put his paws on my shoulders when on his hind legs. He’s huge. In fact I’m not so sure he’s not part Great Dane or Mastiff.)

Them: “Oh, well we usually only accept small dogs. Is he very well behaved?”

Me: “Oh yes, he’s an angel, he is quiet as a mouse and doesn’t chew. He’s basically like a guide dog but we’re not blind.”

(Lie #2. He’s terribly behaved. He eats shoes like he’s on his last meal – prefers expensive designer brands –  He howls terribly if we leave him alone for more than a few hours because he’s used to me being with him all day (I work from home). If he were a guide dog the blind person wouldn’t last a day,he’s the most (happy) undisciplined dog I’ve ever met.)

Them: “And is he used to travelling with you and being left at the hotel if you go out?”

Me: “Oh yes, he’s a regular traveller, we travel with him all the time. He loves it and he’s just a part of the family, waits patiently for us to return when we’re out and gives the hotel and it’s patrons no trouble at all. All the places we’ve stayed love him.”

(Lie #3. He’s never been to a hotel with us before. It’s really hard to find pet friendly hotels in Australia (God Bless America – so much easier to find them there) and  because he’s such a pain in the ass to take places we leave him with my sister who he adores nearly as much as he loves shoes. Or as a last resort, in a kennel where he pines and has been known to attempt suicide. Really.)

The thing about him, he’s adorable. We’ve actually just signed him up to start stem cell therapy for his elbow displasiya and osteo-arthritis – ground breaking stuff in the animal world. He’s sweet and loving and funny….and not very well behaved.

All this for a last minute quick trip away, oh the lies! Blogging is my confessional.

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14 thoughts on “The Lies We Tell

  1. Elyse says:

    If your referring to your dog it’s not a lie. It’s a belly rub.

    Like

  2. Jennifer Pyle says:

    Hilarious!!!!!but where are you going??

    Sent from my iPhone

    Like

  3. dorannrule says:

    He’s truly adorable and worth lying for! :)

    Like

  4. oh.. been there, done that! or simply not told of pets when sneaking them in for 1 night..lol. shhhh. hope the trip goes / went well!

    Like

  5. Whatever would we do without our blog-fessionals?! They need to trust our knowledge of our pets. So enjoyed your candid thought-streaming behind the answers.

    Like

  6. Carrie says:

    Girl…I had a yellow lab. Loved her!

    But really? “He’s basically like a guide dog BUT WE’RE NOT BLIND.”

    That, my friend…is priceless!

    Yes, yes…the lies we tell and tell and tell.

    =)

    Like

    • Admin says:

      WELL!!! As I live and breathe! Whose been raised from the dead in an evangelical fashion? (That’s what I assumed when i received no responses to my comments etc you know…) I was actually thinking of writing a eulogy from the blogging world and posting it on your page! As I have come to find out you’ve been too busy with a hunk of a man to worry about us bloggy people – not bad… its about the only excuse where Id be saying “You Go Girl!” :)

      Like

  7. This is so funny. We traveled with a mild mannered German Shepherd
    This really does describe her “.. a kennel where he pines and has been known to attempt suicide.”
    So she went on the road trip..she promised to behave..the trick was sneaking her out to the grassy spot without going past the desk…they didn’t allow “aggressive breeds”

    Like

    • Admin says:

      I hate that ‘aggressive breed’ tag. We had a german shepherd growing up, she was the sweetest, most tolerant dog with our family – and SO smart! That being said she would rip someones throat out if they ever tried to harm us – as she should! Thanks for the comment.

      Like

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