The Husband List

Kat, my new favorite blogger to stalk (poor Kat, this means a war and peace comment from me at least every few days… I do try and keep it concise, but…)

Anyway, she is doing an experiment of sorts, attempting to date 30 men in 3 months and blogging about her experiences. She is witty, amusing, thoughtful, open and manages to be eloquent while she does it all. Hat’s off to her! You can read her blog here.

While reading her blog it reminded me of my list from 9 years ago. That is, my list of ‘qualities I require in a husband.’ I came across this list while I was packing up my life to move to Australia. (That’s right, my husband, my son and I after 10 years in the USA have just weeks ago moved to my original ‘home’ of Australia – hence the ending of my last blog and the beginning of this new one)

So I found the list and mulled it over for a while. I wonder if there are many people who set goals in life, attain them, set more goals, attain them and so on. Looking back over my adult life and my achievements (or lack thereof), one would think I set goals only when on drunken binges and playing truth or dare. Moving on…

Here is the list in its entirety from 2002:

1. Must be financially secure

2. Must love kids (this from the woman who didn’t want kids – what was that even about?)

3. Must love animals

4. Must have a great sense of humor, specifically be able to laugh at himself (since I intend to do a lot of laughing at him also)

5. Love to travel

6. At least 6 feet tall

7. Must not be late for our first date.

8. Walk on the side of the road that is closest to the cars when we are out together, so if a tragedy occurs, it happens to his body, not mine.

9. Open doors always.

10. Have similar religious beliefs.

Here’s how I did when it came down to the wedding day:

1. He was able to pay for our then apartment rent, cars, electric, food and health insurance. DRAW

2. He never showed any aptitude towards kids but lo and behold he’s like the best father ever…people have actually stopped us in public and complemented him on his fathering. WIN

3. He does love animals.WIN

4. He thinks he’s much funnier than he is. I’m not sure if this qualifies as success or not, but he does allow me to ridicule him endlessly and has a pretty good sense of humor about it, so we’ll call this success. WIN

5. Like me, he was well-traveled. Europe, the UK and much of the US. Since we  have been married (8.5 years) we have only been to Mexico, US and Australia. Given that we lived in the US and my family lived in Australia, I consider this a whopping FAIL.

6. He’s 5′ 9 1/2″ though he claims he’s 5′ 10″ and I let him get away with it. FAIL

7. We met through my father (and he still claims he has yet to receive a dowry, while my husband maintains that taking me off his hands was the gift) and because I was living in Australia at the time we “chatted” on instant message and the phone. Our very first “date” was him picking me up from the airport. He was late. And short. FAIL

8. I suspect there are many, many times throughout our marriage when he has envisioned  pushing me in front of incoming traffic. FAIL

9. This one is laughable! Opens doors? Who? How? What? Why??? FAIL

10. He’s Jewish. I’m Christian. Enough said. FAIL

Do you all see the trend I have going here? By all accounts this marriage should be a complete failure. If this was a game of Win, Lose or Draw I would be walking off in shame right now.

The great thing about real life is that though your mind may be putting the car in reverse and holding the accelerator on the floor, the heart has grabbed on for dear life and just wont let go.

So bravo for us, bravo.

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4 thoughts on “The Husband List

  1. spitandspirits says:

    I think about certain things that make me annoyed with my girlfriend. We’ve been together for just over five years, so we’ve had plenty of time to annoy each other. And I realise that most of them are along the lines of; she doesn’t stack the dishwasher like me, or doesn’t place her toothbrush so it will drain like mine, or isn’t the most perfect driver in the world like me. I end up reminding myself that she isn’t going to do, or like, or act the same way as me – because she isn’t me. And that’s why I love her.

    Often we look for mirror images of ourselves in a possible partner. But how boring would that be? I can remember puberty. And hanging out under the quilt by myself and my own body parts wasn’t that crash hot.


  2. Pete says:

    OK. Let\’s try again. I am not \”secular.\” I am a person who lives in this world and has hobeibs and a job and whatever. Other people in this world also have lives, and sometimes jobs or hobeibs or families or whatever. They also (unlike me) believe in invisible sky fairies. They are called \”weirdoes.\” I am not-a-weirdo.The fact that those people think their irrational beliefs deserve a name other than \”wishful thinking\” and call themselves \”religious,\” or \”Jewish\” or \”Christian;\” and because I do not agree with their wishful thinking I am therefore a \”heretic\” (or \”secular\”) is really of little interest or relevance to me.The kids in your post had (apparently) few hobeibs other than internet or playstation or whatever. OK. What does that have to do with believing or not believing in sky-fairies?I mean, sure, religious societies are usually much more regimented than non-religious societies but that\’s because religion is, at its core, about controlling people, and leaving them time to think, and be, and find out what they REALLY want to do is dangerous. And sure, most people, when not regimented, will do little with their lives other than watch tv/hang out with friends/surf the \’net and what\’s wrong with that?To give you a different spin on it in North Korea (a country with a high population of irreligious people), people\’s lives are filled to the brim: they work, go to rallies, study about The Great Leader ,and have compulsory \”hobbies\” such as gardening, paving streets, etc. on Sunday. Are you trying to say that that\’s better than the above-mentioned TV/internet/Playstation trifecta?Now of course, I\’m not saying that religous kids\’ lives her are like living in North Korea I\’m just saying that a controlling society controls its population y filling up their lives with activities, mostly oriented around the ideological basis of that control. It\’s much harder to fill up a life when you have to do it yourself. Some people take up the challenge some people don\’t. I\’m perfectly fine with that.


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