Street Cred

Various prescription and street drugs may caus...

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I had a comment on my blog the other day that inspired this thought.

‘If I wanted to buy illegal drugs, how would I procure them?’

My husband and I have had this conversation before. When we travel through a town that looks a little seedy, we’ll see someone standing near a building and hubby will say something like “Oh he’s riding dirty.” (Apparently this means they’re dealing, who knew?)

“How do you know?” I’ll say.

“I just do;” he gives me a wise and knowing look.

I just can’t figure it out, how do people know and what do they say when they want to buy? If it were me and I’d been given the job of scoring some drugs (in some kind of other-world-Amazing-Race kind of task), I’d be at a complete loss.

First, Id have to spot someone.

I’d be looking for the guy with the long bulky coat, dark sunglasses, exhibiting whatever I determined at the time to be ‘suspicious behavior’.

Then what would I say?

“Do you have any illegal drugs I can buy please?” Of course not! (Even I know this.)

What is the correct terminology? Is their some kind of ‘drug-speak’ class you can go do? Is this drug lingo passed down from generation to generation, told to a select few who initiate others whom they deem worthy enough? (Or unworthy enough as the case may be.)

I’m completely perplexed by the whole scenario as it is, and we haven’t even touched on the topic of what kind of drugs they’re dealing. Is this determined by the style of hat, number of eye blinks, hand signals…what?

With the amount of knowledge required just to make my first illegal drug purchase (at the ripe old age of 37, no less) I feel like I need to complete some kind of university degree, just to get all the elements in place to successfully complete the task.

I know how it’d go too.

I’d study hard, learn from all my husbands derelict friends (because mine are way too upstanding), finally go out on the streets to make my score, and I’ll be the girl that hits up the narc.

See? I’m not so naive, I’ve got some street lingo up my sleeve that I can drop after all.

Maybe that will earn me a little street cred.

You can learn a little more about my spiral into drug-taking on my post ‘Tylenol PM – The Gateway Drug’

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3 thoughts on “Street Cred

  1. Another way to score drugs is to get to know your neighbors. Many of them are probably dealing or using. My wife is always amazed by this and I have to remind her of the billions the US spends on illegal drugs. Who do you think uses them, I ask her? Then she gives me a thoughtful look and nods her head. Our neighbors? Yes, exactly.

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    • Ha! You’re right, we’ve had some crazy neighbors in our time, and frankly, I think its wise to look amongst family members too – family and neighbors – the two sets of people you don’t choose to have in your life, but have to deal with their insanity anyway…

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  2. […] new gateway drug), and I’ve had more than a few conversations about procuring drugs with my Street Cred – but overall – I just don’t get […]

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