Today it became crystal clear to me why Doctors say our kids shouldn’t be drinking flavored milk, or soda pop.
Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with the sugar content, obesity epidemic, rampant ADD in our schools, or the complete lack of nutrition. In fact, it’s a much less hotly-debated issue.
The reality is, they aren’t at the age where they are equipped to deal with the complexities of these drinks.
“Complexities?” I hear you ask; “what could be more simple than drinking a sugary treat?”
Last night my seven-year-old finished dinner, we were eating outside (it was a beautiful night), and my husband left us to return a phone call.
I had promised my son after he had eaten his dinner, he could have the chocolate milk I had bought him (a rare treat in our house), and his pleasure was evident when I distractedly handed him the drink, and began texting on my phone.
I was paying no attention to him, until I noticed him wiggling a little in his seat. In typical parenting style, I ignored it (not wanting to open up a dialogue on kid related things that would almost certainly be akin to watching paint dry on a wet and cloudy day).
The wiggling continued and turned into actual bodily shaking… he was now standing in front of his seat with his hands and arms moving in the air as well!
“What the hell?” I thought to myself.
“Don’t ask”, my inner voice warned, “don’t open up that can of worms, continue on with your texting.”
I knew this was a road I really didn’t want to travel, so I left it alone and continued with my text.
Moments later, he sighed loudly and sat back in his chair, with a force that comes from the exhaustion of moving so energetically on a warm evening.
Then the lunacy spewed forth from his lips;
“mummy, why do I have to shake well before opening this drink?”
This my dear friends, is the result when one’s reading ability, far surpasses their intelligence level. (A condition I suspect many adults also suffer from, but that’s fodder for another post.)
As a result of this illogical display of senselessness, my son will only be given one beverage option – water – when requiring relief from his thirst for the next half decade or so.
Until he is capable of reading the label and deciphering for himself that wording like “twist top” is not an instruction related to the shirt he is wearing, “contents under pressure” does not refer to an unresolved emotional conflict or a tight work deadline for the beverage, and “ring pull”, is not the can asking you to present your buttocks for any kind of assistance – he will be banned from all beverages that are not see-through.
And from what I’ve just witnessed, it may be a long 5 years.